So here, have some of my initial exploration of the story.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I slap a hand on the kitchen sill. “Draw one in the dark, and get me an Eve with a lid on.”
A netted mass of blonde curls pops up on the other side of the wall, dragging a frowning, angular face with it. “The coffeemaker is broken, Jennifer.”
“You kidding me?” I check over my shoulder for any set-down menus or impatient faces before I turn back to Charlie. “It’s starting to get late, you know.”
“What do you expect me to do? I’m a cook, not a mechanic.”
“You coulda called somebody to fix it.” No sooner are the words out of my mouth than I realize the folly. Charlie, talking to somebody he doesn’t absolutely have to. His home television was broken for months because he never tried to get a technician. It’d probably still be broken if I hadn’t visited him.
He gives me a look with the appropriate amount of disbelief before I turn back around. We have all of three booths full and nobody at the bar, so I shouldn’t be missed terribly.
“Les!” I holler.
In the middle of swabbing a table that hasn’t been used recently, the waiter pauses and perks up. The kid of the place, Les is as tall as Charlie but not nearly as stocky. He’s a cute thing, too, but he’s taken.
“I’m gonna take care of something,” I tell him while his huge eyes are on me. “Cover for me.”
He nods quickly. “Yes, ma’am.”
He buffs the rest of the table at record speed before tucking the rag away and hurrying to check on the customers. I don’t have to watch him for long before I decide to give fixing the coffeemaker myself a shot. If Charlie hasn’t fixed it, it’s nothing simple, but I bet I can figure it out. If not, I’ll have to dial up Rick at his house, since he’ll be back from work by now. He wouldn’t mind a quick job after-hours, though, if it comes down to it.
Whatever way this goes, this thing had better get fixed quick. I’m not keeping Jerry waiting on his coffee for long. If there’s anybody I’m not going to keep waiting, it’s him. Won’t get a lick of a tip otherwise. As frequent a customer as he is, he still hasn’t really come to like any of us. He doesn’t stand for any small talk. On that note, he might secretly be a pal of Charlie’s. I wouldn’t be surprised.
Slipping through the low saloon doors of the bar area, I ram my shoulder into the swinging door of the kitchen and charge in. Charlie doesn’t pay me much mind as I head straight for the white contraption at his right. Sure enough, it’s plugged in but doing nothing. Poor, abused old thing. Although if it would work a little better, we wouldn’t be slapping it so much.
I roll up my sleeves and start taking the machine apart. Nothing seems dented any more than usual, so I might just have to clean the parts.
“Jenny?”
"Crap dang!" I nearly scrape my wrist on some wiring before I look up at the kitchen window. Les is peeking through.
“Somebody calling for me?”
“Sorry.” If he had cat ears, they’d be drooping. “Dessie wants her Dr. Pepper, but—” his voice drops to a whisper—“the ice machine is jammed.”
I pull my hands away from the disarticulated coffeemaker and wipe them on my apron. “I’ll fix it when I’m done here, I guess. Throw me a cup.”
Les slips a tumbler across the sill just as Charlie puts a slice of apple pie up there. The waiter checks over his shoulder before reaching for the plate.
“Ah, ah, ah!” I flick my left hand at him, although I can’t really reach him from here. It’s still enough to make him jump. “You’re not taking that over yet. Jerry’ll throw a fit if he ‘has’ to eat before he gets his joe.”
“Right!”
“Now.” I wrap my right hand around the tumbler and gaze at the inside until ice crystals start to appear. I do my best to get them roughly ice-cube-shaped, but they’re still a little spiky. They’ll be fine once the soda hits, though.
I offer the cup to Les. “Get the kid her M.D.”
He takes it with a nod of thanks and scurries off.
You established the busy, hectic pace of working at a diner quite well, and the characters were pretty clearly defined, too. I get now what you mean about Jennifer being "a little haggish, but in a good way." Like, I can really visualize her from her mannerisms and such. Almost forgot about the ice power thing, so I was a bit confused when I read about her refilling the glass, but I caught on soon enough. Also, I'm ashamed to say that everytime I saw the word tumbler I thought "isn't it spelt tumblr...?" Too much time on that blasted website. XD;
ReplyDeleteHaha, yeah, hopefully the "jacket description" will help with that. Otherwise I'd have to slip in the powers later with more explanation (and make things slightly less chaotic, and that's definitely no good).
DeleteI see.