I write stories. I do not write scripts or film videos. Still, film (or maybe theatre) seems like the best medium for this little idea, so short film it is.
Working Title: Roses
Genre: Romance/Mainstream
Characters: A man and his wife. They've been married for some amount of time and have a young son.
Setting: Modern-day. Everything takes place at various times in front of a kitchen counter with a vase of roses.
Plot: For Valentine's Day, the husband buys his wife a nice vase of flowers. She's delighted, and they discuss a nice steakhouse for dinner before leaving. Various other occasions where they chat here are shown, with their conversations becoming less "romantic" and more normal as time goes on and the flowers wilt a bit. Eventually we show a few small fights, and the husband storms out, leaving the wife to water the flowers and note their state wistfully. Eventually life catches up fully, and she no longer waters or notices the flowers. The fights get progressively worse, and tears are shed. The wife finally disposes of the flowers in disgust. A few days pass where the couple doesn't exchange words at all. In the kitchen by himself, the husband notices the empty vase and takes it, exiting the house. The next day, the wife enters the kitchen to find a fresh set of flowers on the counter and smiles.
Anyone interested is free to take this one. Also feel free to change the ending. I felt like it should end sort of happily, but what I came up with seems too forced. That's what I get for trying a condensed romance idea, ha.
A film script! That's really original. There's something so artsy about short films, for some reason. Same with short stories. Like they're trying to say something that's too poignant to be stretched out into a longer medium.
ReplyDeleteI liked the idea for this one. For some reason, I think it'd be more powerful if it was played with no dialogue (except for maybe muffled yelling in the background when they have their fights) but just music. It would start off really soft and tinkly at the beginning, when she sees the flowers, smiles at him, he smiles back, he holds out a steakhouse coupon to convey the idea of a date (now this sounds like an ad for Tony Roma's or something) and the piece gradually grows more stormy and less violent until it has a massive crescendo when they're fighting, and then at the very end the first tinkly melody starts. (Gosh, I pretty much copied that exactly from one of the oneshots I did ... you'll see when I post the story later).
I know you said the end seems forced, but I think it's actually pretty thought-provoking, because it raises the idea that this whole thing is a cycle that goes on and on without any real change. Like, be buys the flowers (symbolizing a high in their relationship), things are going well for a while, they they sink into fighting and tears, and then something else good happens and they get to a new high before it all starts again. It's a happy ending, but for the moment - there's no guaranted things will stay that way, and I sort of like that.
I believe artsy is indeed the word, ha.
DeleteThat sounds like a good idea. I never had any idea what they were saying, anyway. Maybe just mouthing words (although the experience would probably end up weird for lip-readers...) and the music over it.
Glad you think so.